CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

First Absence

On the eighth of April, we went to London; on the eighth of May, I returned. Arthur told me he must finish his business matters before returning, and cannot do business if I am with him. I was quite content to return home, but hope he will soon follow. He seemed quite fond of showing me to his friends as often as possible.

One day, however, he decided that London was affecting my health, and told me that I must return to Grassdale immediately. I promised him that I was in perfect health, but he insisted that I return home, and that he would soon be home himself.

June 29th—No Arthur yet; and I have been waiting for many days to receive a letter from him. He does not write often, although he insists that I write frequently, and gets quite upset if I do not. His letters are kind, but very short and each one promises that he will soon be home. Oh, it is cruel to leave me alone for so long! He knows I have no one but Rachel to talk with.

July 3rd—I have finally received a letter from him. He has promised that he will return next week. In his letter, he reminds me that the longer he is away, I will be more in love with him when he does return. Again, he insists that I continue to write, and apologises that he does not write more often, but has been quite busy with his business affairs. In the letter, he also informed me that my dear friend, Milicent Hargrave, will soon be married to Mr Hattersley.

Poor Milicent! I cannot believe she accepted his offer of marriage—his behaviour is childish and careless.

5th—I was mistaken! I received a letter from her this morning telling me she has accepted his offer, and will be married by the end of this month. She is quite surprised herself.

"I am to be Mr Hattersley's wife, I must try to love him, and I will try. But, it seems that the further he is from me, the better I like him; he frightens me with his impolite manners and strange ways. I didn't intend to accept his offer of marriage. When he did ask me, I did not want to immediately refuse him, but certainly did not agree to marry him. He soon announced to my mother, however, that I had accepted him. I did not tell Mamma that I had not agreed, or she would be quite upset with me. Mamma is delighted that I will soon become Mrs Hattersley. He is the son of a rich banker, and I have no fortune myself, so Mamma is quite content that I will soon be married to a wealthy gentleman. Walter, my brother, is quite pleased that I will marry his dear friend, and when I told him that I was worried about marrying Mr Hattersley, he told me I was being childish. Do you think I am being childish, Helen? You must write and tell me. Although, I will no longer speak poorly of Mr Hattersley, as he will soon be my husband for life, and I must attempt to love him with all my heart. Goodbye, dear Helen, I am waiting anxiously for your advice."

Poor Milicent! What advice can I give to the poor girl? She must either refuse him now and upset her family terribly, or suffer her whole life, regretting having married such a man.

Saturday, 13th—The week is over, and Arthur has still not returned. I often wonder about where he is and what he is doing. I am quite lonely without him, particularly when I enter my room alone at night. I was expecting us to spend the sweet summer months together, as new lovers, but the summer will soon end, and he has still not returned.

23rd—He has returned finally! But, he is rather changed; he no longer smiles, and looks tired, bored with everything. I have never asked him the reason for his long visit to London, for I believe he is quite ashamed of himself. He says he is glad to be home again, and I am delighted to have him home. He lies on the sofa all day long, and I play and sing for him. He is pleased with my attention, and likes to have me near him. I wish, however, that he acted like a better husband, cared for by such a loving wife.

August 24th—Arthur is behaving normally again, careless as usual. He is easily bored, and quite difficult to amuse. I wish he would attend to the farm, as a country gentleman should, but he knows nothing about that.

It will soon be hunting season, so he will, perhaps, take interest in that. But he says it is quite uninteresting hunting alone; he must have a friend or two to help him.

"I hope you invite your more polite friends, Arthur," I said.

"Well," he replied, "I thought of Lord Lowborough, but he will certainly bring his new wife. You are not afraid of Annabella, are you?" he asked with a smile.

"Of course not," I answered quickly, "And who else will come?"

"Walter Hargrave, as his home is nearby, and Grimsby, he's a quiet gentleman."

"I hate him, but if you wish him to come, I will not complain."

"And, Hattersley will, I'm sure, not come, as he will be busy with his new wife."

Lately, I have received several letters from Milicent, who has recently found that her new husband is indeed a gentleman, and a better husband than she thought he would be. She seems quite pleased with her marriage.

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